You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

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“My friend is dating my ex. I’m sad”

Five years ago, I was betrayed by a close friend. When I figured out the truth, I was devastated and heartbroken. In spite of this, I wanted to maintain our friendship and work through it.

I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. I met someone nice, but within weeks I discovered that my ex and my best friend had.

And how do you navigate that new relationship without causing issues? You dated someone for years, then mutually agreed to break up. You had a FWB situationship that kind of just faded out. Now, you want to start dating their friend. Still, you want to do so as kindly as possible — aka without breaking any hearts or jeopardizing any friendships.

Is it necessary to have the talk? Also yes. Jess, 28, failed to tell her ex that she was going to start dating her friend, and it ultimately backfired. If they are, consider splitting the load. She recommends speaking separately with your ex in order to make them feel most comfortable sharing their feelings. He felt that before anything happened between us, he should talk to my ex about it.

My Best Friend is Dating My Ex-Husband

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It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think. But you do need to make sure you go about this right.

My Ex Is Dating Someone Else Already And It Hurts

In the passenger seat was my high school boyfriend. We had become infatuated with one another senior year, and we were now facing the inevitable relational shift: going to different colleges. Our chosen colleges were three hours apart and neither one of us had a car or money. I was devastated, but a few weeks had passed and we were still in semi-regular contact. I would sign onto iChat everyday, and we spoke as if nothing really had changed.

I can’t believe my absolute best friend has betrayed me in this way. What’s good ex-etiquette for dating your best friend’s ex? A: “Don’t date your.

When my friend Sally told me she was dating my ex-boyfriend Max, I warned her he’d treated me badly and she was stupid to be starting a relationship with him. She assured me that in the two weeks they’d been together he’d been “wonderful”, but I reminded her he also treated me very well in the beginning and it wasn’t long before he showed his true colours. She wouldn’t listen to me. For example, I had plenty of evidence that he was cheating on me, and had even seen text messages from another woman, but Max would always twist things around to make it look like I was losing my mind.

He was a very aggressive person and would fly into a rage over the slightest thing, like if his dinner wasn’t as hot as he liked it. If he thought I was taking too long in the shower, he’d yell at me for wasting water. It was very difficult being with him. Of course, there were moments when he was wonderful, and that’s why I stayed with him as long as I did. Mel Schilling has some thoughts. Post continues. The final straw was when he threatened to kick me out of our apartment when I was in a car accident.

He later apologised for yelling at me after realising it wasn’t my fault — somebody crashed into the rear of my car — but it was too late, I had already left.

‘Why I have no sympathy for my friend who dated my ex’

I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. I met someone nice, but within weeks I discovered that my ex and my best friend had started a relationship. When I found out, I felt a rage I had never experienced. There are rare instances when people establish a real friendship afterwards, but that requires a suitable cooling-off time first. The real betrayal is that of your best friend.

Honesty and trust are the foundations of friendship and she has effectively trashed both.

Jess, 28, failed to tell her ex that she was going to start dating her friend, and it ultimately backfired. “My ex and I only talked for a month so I felt.

I dated “Jeff” for four years. I still think of him often as the one who got away. Anchorage is small, and sometimes I run into him, and it’s just the worst. I’m definitely not ready to have him in my life, or anywhere near over the pain of our breakup. I even find myself avoiding some of our old hangouts just to cut back on the chance I will see him. Last week, my friend “Anne” asked if I wanted to meet for drinks.

We’re good friends though not best friends. We often hang out in groups, but it was unusual for her to approach me individually. She said she needed to talk. Once we sat down, she told me she and Jeff have been hanging out and things may get serious. She was very clear that she was telling me as a courtesy so I didn’t find out through the grapevine or by seeing them together — and she was very clear that she wasn’t asking for permission.

I wasn’t totally surprised. Jeff has remained in my social orbit and we share many friends. Yet I find myself spinning from her revelation.

Quotes about your ex dating your best friend

During this time, he introduced me to all of his roommates there were 6 of them in a 5 bedroom house and friends. It would be an understatement to say that we all clicked and became quite close during that time. In fact, I helped a couple of them through major breakups before he and I split or I had ever heard of ExRecovery. And come to find out, I was already good friends with a lot of them before he and I had ever met.

It became apparent that he had other opinions on this matter. No one really knows how any of this stuff works.

When my friend Sally told me she was dating my ex-boyfriend Max, I warned her he’d treated me badly and she was stupid to be starting a.

After all, there seems to be an unspoken rule that such drama is best avoided. But recent life events involving my best friend and my ex-husband have taken me by surprise. Last summer, my best friend, Nina, said she had something important to tell me. When I arrived at her place, she asked me to sit down for the news. I obliged, feeling like a patient about to receive a terminal diagnosis. Silently, Nina took her seat opposite me.

I caught a twinge of apprehension in her gray eyes as she tried to read my face. Her wariness was unnerving me. Nina sighed and looked down for a moment. You have a tendency to behave hysterically sometimes. Her words stung because I disagreed with them, but I tried not to feel offended. Instead, I kept my voice even, despite my skyrocketing pulse.

I Lost a Boyfriend. Then I Lost a Friend. Now I’m Angry.

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I do i still really matter?

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What’s worse, I had to find out from the kids. Our kids went to school together and two of our daughters played in the same netball team. I really leaned on Amber in many ways. She was always kind, always willing to help me and, because we both went through a divorce around the same time , we had a lot to say to each other — particularly when it came to talking about our ex-husbands. Few topics were off limits, from our sex lives to everything that revolved around the complexities of a family breakup.

Want more relationship content? Read about the mum whose husband dumped her while she was in NICU with their baby. Or about the woman who accidentally had a one-night-stand with her father-in-law! Relationship expert Belinda Williams explains what a micro moment is and how it can change your relationship. She knows a lot of intimate details about my marriage and subsequent breakdown. She knows that I was a victim of emotional and financial abuse.

But, four years down the track, she rarely speaks to me. Our friendship has completely dissolved and, in my eyes, is irreparable.

When Is It OK To Date My Friend’s Ex?

Yes, you may as many people tend to get completely wrapped up in your own feelings and give the middle finger to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, but if one of your besties decided to start humping your ex, would you be supportive or forgiving? Thirdly, yet without intending to come across as territorial in a caveman-defecating-on-his-patch-of-land sort of way, that person was with you and was part of your life. They were someone who significantly contributed to shaping the person you are today.

Anyone familiar with Friends will be fully aware of how often they swapped and shared partners. Not only is that his best friend, but he massively betrayed him. Being honest, showing respect, and having trust in one another is the key trinity to BFFs.

My best friend is now dating my ex-boyfriend. Needless to say, it’s weird. So in your opinion, what are the rules about dating exes?

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It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex – and this is why

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Since you recently discovered your best friend’s relationship with the girl you were once in love with, you are feeling awkward and confusing this.

Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times. Breakups can be tough. Feelings of jealousy, self-consciousness, sadness, and anger are prevalent in such an emotionally-charged situation.

To deal when your ex dates your friend, talk to your friend so you can work through your emotions and maintain your friendship without feeling sad or angry. However, avoid telling your friend that they can’t date your ex since this might feel like an ultimatum and could ruin your relationship. To learn how to distance yourself from your friend for a while, keep reading! Did this summary help you?

Can You Date A Friend’s Ex?